okay so when i was a teen i got a full ride scholarship to a really nice private high school which meant i ended up hanging out with a bunch of rich kids and i’ll never forget this one girl who’s parents got a divorce after her dad tried to hit on their secretary and the secretary revealed she was already having an affair with his wife and that’s why she got invited on all the family’s vacations
concept: a game called “john mulaney or cecil palmer?” where you have to guess if a quote was said by popular stand-up comedian john mulaney or fictional radio host cecil gershwin palmer
this might sound easy, but please keep in mind that john mulaney has
said “whoa, that tall child looks terrible! get some rest, tall child!
you can’t keep burning the candle at both ends!” and cecil palmer has
said “alligators: can they kill your children? yes.”
John has said “🎶Because we’re Delta Airlines, and life is a fucking nightmare! 🎶” and Cecil has said “Delta Airlines, because it’s not like you’re safe anywhere else.”
A concept: John Mulaney is a former radio host from Night Vale
John Mulaney was an intern everyone thought died but instead he just got moved into our dimension
After literally a year in the making it’s finally here! Presenting “Thrills, Chills Kills!” a Danganronpa Fanbook featuring character based illustrations of everyone from the mainline games, exclusive art and more!
last night one of my campers was like “well i lost one of my shoes in the swamp today” and i said “oh no!” and she shrugged and said “its ok. shoes are just objects” and damn. they really are
today a completely different camper with scratches all over her legs was like “every step hurts me” and i was like “oh that sucks!” and she shrugged and said “well, you know, pain is a temporary emotion”
the next gen have achieved either peak buddhism or peak nihilism
Someone told my ex-dad (not a sex thing; he just disowned me) that I’m trans and now he’s threatening to come to work and make a scene, and I know I should be upset, but like. What’s he gonna say exactly? And to whom? Because imagining a haggard and likely shitfaced Pennsylvania construction worker barging through the grocery store like, “HEY!!! THAT BROAD-HIPPED 5'3” EFFEMINATE KID WITH THE CONSPICUOUSLY BIZARRE NAME WHO SPEAKS IN A CARTOONISHLY AFFECTED CARICATURE OF MASCULINITY AIN’T GOT NO DICK!!! YOU GONNA BUY SCRATCH OFF TICKETS FROM SOME KINDA DICKLESS ABOMINATION??“ is wild. What’s it going to accomplish? Or is he gonna call my manager? “HELLO, I’D LIKE TO REPORT A FRAUD IN YOUR DELI DEPARTMENT. THERE IS NOT SAUSAGE AS ADVERTISED.” What the fuck.
Odds are he’s more embarrassed of having a trans ex-kid than I am of being outed at work, so what if I go to his job and tell everyone I’m trans first? What then, coward?
That’s such a power move.
This is exactly the struggle I’m having with my own mother right now and honestly? i sort of did that, but at the church i grew up in. my mom was like “oh so what if i tell the whole church youre trans” as if she had forgotten that nearly everyone who goes to my church is actually gay, like elderly retired gay couples, so i was like “haha okay,” and told everyone.
And lemme just say, watching a 5'2", 87 year old gay man stop my mother mid-sentance to say “Actually, I think he prefers to go by Aiden now.” was the BIGGEST dick energy ive ever seen.
Let’s hear it for
5'2", 87 year old gay
men who are trans allies! Woo!
So my high school’s drama club did The Bad Seed, a play about a child who brutally murders people. Later, the girl who played the part of the murderer was cast as a gay character and she refused to play the part because it “went against her morals”
People calling themselves hetero when they can’t even keep their morals straight
